Living in the South

A few things I have learned living in the South…

A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.

There are 5000 types of snakes, and 4998 of them live in the South.

There are 10000 types of spiders, and all 10000 of them live in the South (plus a couple types that no one’s seen before).

If it grows, it’ll stick ya; if it crawls, it’ll bite cha.

Onced and twiced are words.

It’s not a shopping cart, it’s a buggy!

Jawl-P? means Did y’all go to the bathroom?

People actually grow, eat and like okra.

Fixinto is one word. It means I’m fixing to do that.

There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner, and then there is supper.

Iced tea is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you’re 2. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It’s referred to as the Wine of the South.

Backwards and fowards means I know everything about you.

The word jeet is actually a phrase meaning, “Did you eat?”

You don’t have to wear a watch, because it doesn’t matter what time it is; you work until you’re done or it’s too dark to see.

You don’t PUSH buttons; you MASH em.

Ya’ll is singular; All ya’ll is plural.

You measure distance in minutes.

You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.

You’ve got a Dawg.

You only own 5 spices: salt, pepper, mustard, Tabasco, and ketchup.

The local newspaper covers national and international news on 1 page, but requires 6 pages for local high school sports, and motor sports and gossip.

You think first day of deer season is a national holiday.

You know what a Hissy Fit is…

You go off to WallyWorld on a regular basis.

You understand these jokes and love the South!

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